Make me feel Loved
by Stanaddict
Summary: "What the hell was she thinking, everybody always leaves her..."


**A/N : Hi there ! So here's my first OITNB fanfic and first lesbian smut ! I hope you'll enjoy it, please leave a review to tell me ! **

**English is not my mother tongue so thanks to WeLoveTaySchill & _vausemanxx for correcting this text ! 3 **

She stared at the bottom of her glass, playing with the amber liquid thinking back about her day. What a shitty day it had been. It couldn't get any worse. Her mother had died. Piper had left. She's was there, all alone. She sighed to herself. What the hell was she thinking, everybody always leaves her. her own father went away not wanting to know a damn thing about her, why would Piper be any different? Why would this perfect little girl want to stick with her? She said it herself. She's just a drug dealer.

Alex emptied the glass, asking for another one from the bartender who looked at her with a seductive smile.

"Bad day?" he asked while filling her glass.

"The worst." she whispered, those words bringing back memories of the time Piper and her had their first night together, and a tear rolled down her face.

She wiped it angrily. Seriously, she never cries for girl. Never. She's Alex Fucking Vause for god sakes! She's supposed to be the strong one, not the wreck. she's supposed to be in control.

That was the problem since Piper came into her life, control was slipping away like sand through her fingers. She fought back for it, not willing to let it go, but here she was.

"Yo, Alex! What's up!?" asked a young blonde who was sitting next to her, ordering a drink aswell.

Grace was one of her customers, she met her at the very beginning of her career. Hell, if she wasn't a big part of her business, she would put the girl into a rehab center hersf. She was throwing her life away with that shit.

"Ya don't look good, babe. Where's your blondie?"

That's it. It hurts. She better get used to it now, she'll hear this question a lot. She introduced Pipes to so many people.

"We broke up" she answered, trying to put on her best pokerface but she failed miserably. hearing those words was making her accept them, it was making them real. Piper really left. She emptied her glass once again, savoring the burning sensation of the alcohol down her throat.

"Wow, I'm sorry. That girl's a bitch, she doesn't know what she's losing" she said, elbowing Alex and giving her a smirk. "C'mon girl! Gimme a smile!"

Alex shook her head and looked at the girl as she gave her a fake smile. She was hoping that she would drop it there.

"Better than nothing, it didn't quite reach your eyes, ya know."

She was getting closer and closer. Alex knew that since she had told Gracie she was gay, the girl had had a thing for her. Gracie probably wanted to try something new.

"Gracie.. I…" she began, but was hushed by the girl who brushed her hair away from her neck. Bending down, Gracie's lips now grazed the delicate skin of Alex's neck, sending shivers down Alex's spine. It felt wrong, so wrong. They weren't Piper's. She had just had Piper's lips for so long. But in the moment it felt right. Alex's body was betraying her, begging for sweet release. For sweet revenge, too. She closed her eyes.

"Let me help you, babe. I'm gonna make you forget her, I'm gonna make you forget you own name sweetheart" she told her, before attacking her lips in an attempt to be dominant. But no. No. Alex wasn't one to be dominated. She needed to be in control. So she pushed the girl away, looking at her one eyebrow raised.

"You know what. Let's get out of here" she said, taking Grace's hand in her own and tossing money to the bartender to pay for the drinks.

They went out and sat on the deserted patio in the cold air of the night, and she began to kiss the girl, trying to forget. Tongues fighting for a few seconds for dominance before she won, the other girl moaning like crazy. She smiled into the kiss, remembering how she reacted to the first time a girl ever kissed her. How Pipes reacted the day she first kissed her.

Fuck. She pulled away.

"I... I'm sorry Grace. I can't."

The girl looked at her with flushed cheeks and darkened eyes.

"It's ok, girl, I understand. Too bad, though." She smirked and that really made Alex smile. She liked being the center of a beautiful girl's attention.

The girl in question went for something in her pocket and pulled out some heroin, showing it to Alex.

"Best girlfriend ever, ya know? She never let you down." There was such sadness in Gracie's voice along with in her eyes that it broke Alex's heart. No, actually no, her heart couldn't be more broken, it just saddened her.

"Want some?" shw offered, and Alex couldn't help but think about what she said just a thought a seconds ago. She needed an escape for tonight and it was pretty obvious that it wasn't going to be sex, so drugs seemed to be a pretty good option now. "The best girlfriend ever" she thought with a smile, accepting the girl's gift.

—

She was curled up in some hotel room bed, trying to cry herself to sleep for almost more than an hour. She missed that fucking fly. She broke up with Alex and she felt like a bitch. A bitch who missed her comforting girlfriend's arms around. She left her when she needed her the most. Every time she closed her eyes she could see her face, she could hear her voice. "Please, don't leave" and she ended up crying even more. She never saw Al this vulnerable. Man, if she had turned around she'd probably be in her arms right now. Yep, she'd probably be having the most mind-blowing orgasm right now, her magnificent girlfriend showing her that she's hers. Only hers, claiming her. She got naked and slowly touched herself, the way Alex would do it, until she orgasmed on her own fingers. Hell. Why didn't she turn around!?

"Because this relationship was going nowhere, she was only using you," that little voice in her head reminded her.

She sighed, reaching for her phone in the dark. It was clear that she wouldn't be getting sleep any time soon, so she figured she would hang out on Twitter and wait for her alarm to go off. She had an early morning flight. And that's when she saw it. One missed call and one voicemail from Alex. That was weird. Alex never left voicemails.

"Hey Pipes. You gotta sleepin' right now. Or sucking off some perfect guys dick, someone ya wouldn't be ashamed of, huh? Someone your daddy would like! Think of me when he'll try to make you come with his fucking clumsy hands and ton-"

Her phoned beeped indicaticing that someone was trying to reach her. She didn't even think to look at the ID before accepting the call and beginning to yell.

"What the fuck, Alex?" Go to hell, you don't have the right to talk to me like this! It is not my fault if-"

"Woah, woah, down girl! It's me, Tom. Listen, Alex just got in my bar with some chick and she looks bad, like real bad. I think she took something and she's havin' a bad trip or something, she keeps askin' for ya. You really should drop by."

She heard her friend talking to someone who had to be Alex "Yeah, yeah sweetheart it's her, shush, no… n, Al-"

That's when she heard her voice.

"Pipes… Where are you babe?" she asked, her voice trembling. "I'm.. I need… You're not in the room… Where are you? I can't breathe… Tom I can't breathe… Where is she? She's not talkin' Tom…" she heard tears in her voice.

Oh my god. She was so drunk she didn't remember. She sighed. Wait, did she just say she couldn't breathe ? Suddenly SHE couldn't breathe. Was she ok? Was something wrong?

"Sorry, cutie, she took the phone from me. Anyway, Grace told me about you two but I think ya should come, and… play along with her. I don't think she'll handle things well if she realizes.."

"I'm on my way." Her heart spoke before her brain could even think it through.

She sighed, getting dressed and rushing out of her room.

She arrived at the bar at 3.30 a.m. it was almost empty, except for two drunk guys hitting on the waitress.

"Nina?" Piper called, the brunette looked at her and smiles. "They're in Tom's office."

"Thanks."

She hadn't even closed the door when she felt someone launching themselves at her, hugging her close. She instantly recognized Alex's scent even over the alcohol and drugs. Drugs. Fuck, Alex never took drugs. Grace really fucked her up.

"I'm here." she said, rubbing her back and shivering as she felt Alex's lips on her neck.

"Where were you?"

"I… was on the phone with my dad in the private salon hun" she said, getting a thumbs up from Tom before he left. It was obvious they needed some privacy.

Alex began to hug her tighter.

"Mm, I want you Pipes" Alex breathed, her hands getting under the blonde's shirt.

Piper felt each part of her body slowly melt with Alex's words.

"Yeah?" she asked, trying to sound normal.

"Hmmm.." she answerd, kissing her lips hard.

"Al! Al!" she stopped her and the look of incomprehension on the woman's face was absolutely heartbreaking. "Let's go home. I'm not really in the mood for sex on your best friend's desk, you know?"

This actually made Alex laugh.

"I could have sex with you anywhere. "

Piper let out a giggle.

"Is your breathing better?"

"Yeah, yeah. I think I was just worried. I thought you left" she said, kissing her neck again for the purpose of hiding her face.

My, even freaking drunk and high, Alex Vause's pride made her hide when she shows her weakness.

"Let's go Al" she said.

"Wow, you're in such a hurry Pipes. Afraid you won't resist my charms for long?" she asked, arching an eyebrow.

"You know I won't, so we'd better go home."

"We should. I wanna make love to you all night" she begins, before getting her lips closer to her ear, whispering slowly. "I wanna make you cum again and again, until you beg me to stop because your body can't take it anymore." She shuddered. God, what this woman could do to her. Her voice was so rich she could basically make her wet her panties by reading a shopping list.

—

She was trying to stop Alex from trying to undress her when they got into the room.

"You need to sleep, love."

"No" she said, "I need you." And with this, her hand was in Piper's panties, slowly parting her folds bringing her wetness up to tease Piper's clit.

Piper felt her legs and dissolve and go weak, that made Alex laugh. A deep, rich, laugh.

"Come on babe, you need rest… You'll make me forget my own name in a few hours, okay?"

Alex looked up, her eyes full of hurt.

"Fuck you" she said, sliding her hands off Piper's pants and going in the bathroom. Closing the door behind her, she left Piper standing flabbergasted in the middle of the room.

She went out a few minutes later in her underwear and went straight to bed.

Piper went to her side of the bed, or what used to be her side of the bed, and laid down.

"You don't need to stay…"

Piper frowned.

"You really thought I didn't remember you left?" she said, drifting to sleep.

Piper laid awake, thinking about what Alex had said while watching her sleep. She faked this to get her back? If yes, was she even mad at her? She didn't know, she didn't know a fucking thing anymore.

"Piper?" she heard, and that's when she realized Alex was looking at her with pure saddness in her eyes.

"Yeah, it's me" she answered, feeling Alex move toward her to snuggle up.

"I'm glad you stayed" she said all groggy, and it was absolutely adorable.

"Me too" she said. "Me too."

"Don't ever leave me again Piper Chapman…" she replied with such a vulnerability in her voice that she couldn't help but tighten her embrace. "Or I'll break both your legs and make you stay with me forever. Misery style" she said, and even if her face was hidden in Piper's neck, she knew she was smirking.

"That sounds more like you."

"Does it?" she asks, while starting to kiss her, moaning when Piper doesn't protest, but simply opens her mouth for their tongues to meet. She though felt the girl trying to dominate her, and that made her smile.

"I love when you're all bossy and dominatrix like, Pipes. But tonight, I just want to remind you where you belong" she whispered, pinning her hands over her head with one of hers, letting the other carress her body through the material of her shirt. She felt her nipples stand to attention when the brunette got to her breasts.

"You're not even wearing a bra you. My dirty little girl" she laughed, kissing her again.

"Alex, please…"

"Oh, I love when you get impatient. Move and I stop" she said, but complied anyway taking off her shirt and pants. "Not even panties, you gotta be joking." This time she was all hot and bothered when she said it. But then, something came to her mind. Piper hated the idea of staying in wet panties. Whenever they get too touchy during a party, she would end up in the lady's restroom, take off her panties, and go commando for the rest of the night. It drove Alex completely wild. But she wasn't with her tonight. Maybe she…

She shook her head, fuck it. She bent down and angrily bit the girl's inner thigh before parting her wet folds with her tongue, savoring the taste of Piper filling her mouth.

"Oh my god… Aleeex.."

She listened to the symphony of moans and purrs of her lover, suddenly slipping three fingers into her, not giving her time to adjust before moving them frantically and biting Piper's clit. She felt the girl convulse under her flicks, but she didn't stop. She thrusted another finger into her and made her come again, and again, and again. She kept going until she heard her scream 'stop.' She didn't stop until she felt her clench her thighs together, in attempt to push her fingers away. Then she rubber her hand up the blonde's body, slipping her fingers out of her.

When she could finally speak, Piper turned to Alex, seeing tears in her eyes as she looked up at the ceiling.

"What is it with the angry sex? I'm not complaining, I love when you get rough, but it began so slow, took me by surprise. No pun intended." She laughed to her own joke but Alex simply looked away. "Al?"

"It's nothing" she snapped, not willing to let the jealous side of her out. She had no right to be, they were over. She had even kissed another girl. But she didn't go THAT far. She couldn't. It wasn't a problem for Piper obviously. What was it supposed to mean for their relationship?

"Alex" she warned cuddling. "Talk to me."

"Did you sleep with someone?" she blurted.

"What?" she asked. "Is this about me sucking off a guy again, seriously Alex?"

She closed her eyes. "Have you?" she repeated.

"NO!" she answered, getting away from the Alex. She tried to find her shirt in the bed when she felt Alex's hand on her arm.

"You weren't wearing panties" she said, looking down.

Oh.

"I… I was… You know, sleeping. When Tom called. So I just, put some pants on, ya know?"

Alex instantly understood what Piper was really up to after hearing the embarrassed tone in her voice.

"Aw, really? In the nude?" she asked with a teasing tone.

"Fuck you." Piper answered with a smile.

"I'd rather you fuck me."

They both laughed and kissed.

"Your wish is my command."

She knew nothing had changed, Alex was still a drug dealer, they were still fucked up, but they would find a way to make it work. Tomorrow, they'll go back to the States, organize Alex's mother's funeral arrangements, and then they'll see, they'll talk. But tonight, tonight she just wanted this. Them.


End file.
